High everyone! It's today!
I, of course, didn't get enough sleep last night. After finishing my blog, I still spent a good hour more rocking the Disney tunes. Then laid down with a good cracked.com article, before falling half asleep for the whole 4 hours I still had available for such silly things. I slept through my alarm and woke up 1 minute after I should have been leaving for work. Work was successful nevertheless, because that's just how I rock it.
I came home about 5, ate some chicken nuggets with french onion dip (it turned out to be a fantastic idea), and then took a nap. My day was all in all, really uneventful. So you'd assume I'd have nothing to blog about...That was the dilemma I was facing anyway, until I stumbled upon this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AstW05bDiQU
which will then need to be followed by this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2Zt-57Cg0U
So this is Captain EO, a 4-D movie attraction at Epcot in Walt Disney World. This short 17 minute film brings us back to the glory days of Michael Jackson, before he went full-on weirdo, and was still being followed around by an entourage of 30-plus humans, presumably all cloned and engineered in a lab for the one purpose of following Michael around mimicking his every movement.
The film is directed by none other than Francis Ford Coppola, the mastermind that brought us the Godfather and Apocalypse Now. Additionally it was written and produced by some guy named George Lucas. I'm being serious here... Although if you actually watch the film, you'd have no doubt that Lucas had some sort of influence on the film.
So the story begins by introducing us to Captain EO (Michael Jackson) and his ragtag gang, which consists of a small red ewok sporting butterfly wings, C3POs drunken unkempt great uncle, and Max Rebo. They are on a mission to fly to the Death Star in a spaceship built by the Wright Brothers to deliver a "gift" to the Borg Queen. Sadly, they didn't attempt a trench run...which would have maybe been more convincing than the time a trench run was attempted, and successfully executed (more or less), by a lowly transport shuttle on Star Tours.
Anyway, when they meet the Borg Queen, or Supreme Leader (portrayed by Angelica Huston), she informs them that because of their rudely unannounced arrival they will all be turned into trash cans, except EO, who is doomed to 100 years of torture.
Luckily! Max Rebo brought his band equipment and Captain EO has mystical powers that allow him to turn people into back-up dancers. They break out into song and dance whilst battling...Predators? I wonder if it was Sci-Fi Tuesdays at Mos Eisly Cantina, Where Lucas, Coppola, sat around sipping bourbon alongside Ridley Scott and John McTiernan throwing ideas back in forth and so spawned this little beauty.
Regardless, Captain EO's wholly forgettable performance causes the Supreme Leader (or SL as she will be called from here on out) to writhe in agony within her web of cables. This is the gift EO has brought to SL. You see, she is actually very beautiful within, she only needs the key to unlock that beauty. And with that, a rainbow leaps out of EOs chest and begins to transform the dark cold alien lair of the SL into a beautiful and peaceful Greek temple. This coloful scene would later inspire Lisa Frank to make trapper keepers for 8 year old girls.
Along with the world around her, SL also becomes a beautiful woman once again (I made the assumption that she was once before too, though I don't really know)...And with that a dance of joy begins and all is well. And fade to credits where we are once again reminded that this little piece is the love child produced by Francis Ford Coppola and George Lucas.
It's honestly so bad, it's good.
And in case you are like me, and have several pairs of 3D glasses lying around, and wanted to know if the 3D would work if you wore them....I tried...It doesn't really. Disappointing, I know. Believe me, I know...
So with that, I'll leave you with some fun little trivia about Captain EO
-EO was named for the Greek goddess of dawn Eos
-It cost $30 million to produce Captain EO, which averages out to a mere $1.8 million per minute.
-The short film has over 150 special effects, which is more per minute than any of the original Star Wars films...now we see where Lucas' heart has really been all this time...
So I leave you with that, I have to go mark my calendar with the days until I can finally go see this epic tale in RL....
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